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Saturday, December 31, 2011 |
( 12/31/2011 09:49:00 AM ) Bill S.
FACE, MEET FAN! Most weekday mornings, I follow a fairly boring schedule: wake up worrying about finances, get up and feed the dogs, start the coffee machine while the dogs follow their morning outside routine, bring ‘em back into the house and head for the study to check email and perhaps do a little Blogcritics editing before getting ready for my day job. Pretty mundane. But Friday saw a major break in this routine: getting up to leave the study, I hadn’t noticed that one of our 75-plus pound pups was lying on the floor right behind me. I tripped over the big galoot, fell and did a header right into a pillar fan.
The lower half of my face made the most contact -- nose and mouth primarily -- though I also get a major gash on my right hand middle finger where I apparently struck the fan’s base. Some heavy bleeding ensued from both nose and finger. Wife Becky heard the commotion from bed and quickly got up to do the Florence Nightingale thing, retrieving the bandages while I worked to staunch the blood flow. Sat in a living room chair with rolled up pieces of toilet paper in both nostrils -- not a good look -- feeling like a clumsy idiot.
The end results could’ve been much worse: my lower face looks like I got into an argument with a belligerent drunk who passed out before he could do too much damage, my finger’s still bandaged and I have a very irritating slice of missing inner lip, but at least I didn’t connect with my forehead. Wound up going into work on time without any significant aftereffects, though I popped a lotta generic Tylenol over the course of the day. It's a heck of a way to end the year: battered and bruised.
I feel like a walking metaphor. . .
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